My Women Thing

I think it's fairly safe to say that I have a thing for women.

This particular post has been a long time in the making.  About a week, on and off, with large chunks of earlier drafts saved for later.  Helen Mirren and Victoria Coren will have to wait.  Fourth and final draft as follows.

I would class my thing for women as a fetish rather than just assuming my sexuality is 'natural' or 'normal'.  It's the cis option, but I don't see anything inherently bad in that.  I have looked at men, and thought about finding them attractive, but it just doesn't work for me.  I genuinely believe that I was born straight, in the same way as lesbian, gay and bisexual people were born that way.  In terms of submissive fantasies, it tends to work slightly differently.  I'll go into more detail below, but the reason I'm keen to specify female dominance all over my blog is because it's almost exclusively women that I fantasise about submitting to.

Women in general

Before we have a look at the women I fantasise about, let's have a quick look at women in general.  There's a bit in From Hell, where Gull asks Nettley, his driver, if he likes women:  

Gull: Do you like them? As a gender? The way they think? The things they say? Could you, for instance, tolerate a world where women ruled? With men bound to their whims and governed by their scorn?
Netley: Well, no, sir, put it like that...

If you put it like that, I really, really like women.  They are amazing, intelligent, endlessly fascinating people whose company I genuinely enjoy.  One of the best things about having a child and working in my particular field is that I am constantly dealing with these wonderful human beings, and since getting married it's been so much easier to talk to them without any questions of romance getting in the way and stuffing things up.

Women.  You know.  Like this lot.

Yes, I'm incredibly loyal to my wife, which is handy because there's one other thing that I like about women.  I find a great many of them attractive.  A lot of them are very attractive, and a few of them are extremely attractive.  This is something that cannot be denied, nor can I deny that I sometimes meet a woman with whom I click.  Our personalities just spark, and there's real physical attraction there.  We are, in the parlance of the motion picture Pacific Rim, 'drift compatible'.  Nothing is ever done about this, because loyalty, but suffice to say, I find women in general to be very, very attractive in general, before I even start with the fantasy stuff.

In short, women are brilliant.

Women in my fantasies

I also fantasise about submitting to women, and it's almost exclusively women that I dream of submitting to.  In some of my daydreams, I might have to serve a man or act submissively towards one in some way, but even in those cases there is always a woman in control of the situation, in the primary dominant role, and I have never had a fantasy in which the only dominant is male.

I have tried to think about men in this way.  You'd think that someone who derives so much pleasure from submitting to dominance and power would be able to find something in the seemingly ubiquitous patriarchal power and dominance that appeals, but no.  Physical strength, success, money, good suits, leather shoes, sexual dominance, privilege, it would be so easy for me to submit to a man if I were that way inclined.

But no, I'm only really interested in submission to female dominance and female power.  I think that might be a function of my general distaste for patriarchal forms of power, and my fondness for switching things on their head, turning the tables so that women are on top.  I think the creation of dissonance between fantasy and reality is what makes the whole thing perversely enjoyable for me.  Also, I just really really like women, and although get on reasonably well with several of my own gender, I find most men quite hard to connect with.  We don't tend to have much in common, and my lifestyle choices, such as childcare and ironing, tend to confuse people who think along traditional  lines.

It's slightly more complicated than I have made it out to be, and there are exceptions to pretty much everything I've said thus far, but essentially, in terms of the fantasies that I fill my head with, it's a woman who's in charge.  The images that I use for my projects are almost all images of women only, although very occasionally a man will appear, usually in the background or extremely rarely in the foreground with the woman.  I'll probably deal with that at some point in the future, when those specific fantasies crop up.

Also worth mentioning here is crossdressers.

Apparently so

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...

There's one other thing I could mention here, but I'll leave that for another time.  I'm sure it'll come up sooner or later, and I'll deal with it then.  Oo-er.

So yes, I think women are the cat's pajamas in reality.  I'm also completely straight, apparently, which means that my sexual fantasies feature almost exclusively women.  It tends to be a little bit weird, and I know it's weird, because what I'm essentially doing is putting women on a pedestal, which comes with its own problems.  In my fantasy worlds, it's less of a problem, but in reality I've thrown myself at the feet of some pretty poor choices and it's ended badly.  Also, sex becomes a problem.  Quite soon I'll have to deal with the sexual element of my sexual fantasies, because, well...  it's a bit weird.  You can look forward to that.

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