The fantasies involve several different aspects, which move, shift and develop according to the seasons, according to things that happen in my day-to-day life, and according to personal fancy. The fantasies are both bound up with and in opposition to my feminism and my political views, and many of the things that turn me on often hinge upon gender politics that I know to be problematic in reality.
I have been addicted to my sexual fantasies for more than 20 years. I have had submissive feelings for as long as I can remember, although it was only when I reached puberty that I realised what they were all about.
For a range of reasons, I wish to remain as anonymous as possible. My submissive nature, my addiction and my addictive behaviours are all known to my wife, but my career would effectively be over if they were known outside my immediate circles of family and friends. Nothing illegal is going on, but there are professional reputations at stake for myself and my employers that would be dealt serious damage by the tabloid press in search of a scandal.
I hope, by writing this blog, that I can articulate my fantasies and my addiction to them, and in doing so reach a state of balance. I want to be able to enjoy my sexuality without it becoming a problem for the other areas of my life, which, for the past 20 years, have suffered as a result of my addiction.
UPDATE: This blog has both failed and succeeded in its purpose, and now needs to take a new direction. I'll now be going by my pen-name, L M Williams. I'm writing now, mostly fiction, but some other stuff in the mix too. I hope to get myself published in various ebook formats. I'm quite excited. I'll be using this blog mostly to promote my writing, while still exploring how it relates to my therapy and my submissiveness. It is my hope that in legitimizing my fantasy output I will be able to keep it more or less separate from the realities of my family and work lives.
Wish me luck.
QP
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