Dramatis personæ

Here is a list of various people I may or may not need to reference as this blog develops.  Obviously, the names have been changed.  There's a bit of a system, because I like a system, but it's been inconsistently applied, so this list is as much for me as a aide memoire as it is for anyone else.

I've indicated all the ones that are better than me.  There'll no doubt be a post in the near future about my inferiority complex, which is a thing that I have.

Furiosa - Anyone who knows me probably knows my wife, and anyone who knows my wife will understand why I've chosen this name for her.  It fits in every way imaginable.  Better than me.

Rita - Weird.  Really not sure what went on here.  Trying to get any kind of confirmation of relationship status out of Rita was like trying to nail jelly to the wall.  I wasn't the only one trying, either.  It was a very confusing time for me.

Billie - Highly intelligent and far more attractive than she ever gave herself credit for.  Our brief and total foul-up of a relationship taught me that I was able to feel things after all, even though it was heartache.  I messed everything up hugely.  Way better than me.

Jacqui - Lovely, wonderful, beautiful Jacqui.  5'11" and with a thing for high heels.  She was the first person to dominate me properly, although it turned out she's also a submissive.  I had a lot of fun being scared by her.  Still great friends with her, and she came to our wedding.

Trini - Plus-size bra model with perfect pitch.  Not making that up.  Nearly had my virginity one rainy night, but it was interruptus by the LGBT president.  Extremely attractive, used feminine wiles on me, but had a boyfriend in London.  Cue my scruples.  Better than me.

Lana - The kind of woman that men dribble over and women can't stand, much like a urinal.  Convenient foil to help me escape Laure.  Privileged, vain and made me tea.  No wonder I liked her so much.  Better than me.

Laure - Terrible, horrible, awful experiences.  I'll probably blog about this at some point, because it's key to understanding my anger issues, my intimacy problem and the depression that I've more or less left behind.  Made me force myself to feel nothing.

Marnie - First serious girlfriend and long-distance relationship.  I didn't talk to her anywhere near enough, and we hardly ever saw each other.  Beautiful, talented and intelligent, but underprivileged.  I know what council estates look like because of Marnie.  Ran off with an evil ex and broke my heart.

Shiloh - First crush, aged 12 on the beach, and a recurring fixture of summer holidays through my teenage years.  Another urinal woman (see Lana).  We never actually went out, but she broke my heart and the heart of my best friend.  Back in touch on Facebook, and she's got a husband and a range of floppy-haired kids.  Better than me.

There are others, but these are the main players.  These are the ones to whom I can attach pivotal moments and formative experiences, at any rate.

ȹ