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| "Well? What do you think?" |
This gem was found on Flickr, back when I was trawling for images to use in one of my caption sets, mentioned in this post here. I hit the motherlode of Irish Horseracing photography, which doesn't sound very inspiring, but it actually is. I got carried away, and produced a fantasy about the New County Show. Check it out if you like captions about slave auctions juxtaposed with pictures of well-dressed ladies having a good time.
Anyway, I love this image, and it's for a slightly weird reason. The ladies are incredible, amazingly attractive, elegantly dressed and posed to suggest class, power and arrogance. Long legs are something that is conventionally held to be a trope of hotness, although the crossed legs thing appears to be a more niche thing, popular on a certain forum that I used to frequent a great deal. The shoes are also wonderful, and I would jump at the chance to kiss them and worship them. So far, so kinky.
But what gets me about this picture is two things, and they're both to do with context. Firstly, the background. This is a very big room in a very big house, probably quite an old house, but owned by people who can well afford the upkeep. It could also be a hotel, in which case it's a very big, very expensive one. Either way, this place means money, and lots of it. This is a place for people who are richer than me, more refined than me, and better than me. It's a context in which I don't belong, although I do occasionally visit in real life, and every time I do, I get the same submissive feelings that I get when I look at this picture. Good times.
Before we get to the second thing, let's take a look at some early inferences spewing forth from my fantasy head. It's an obvious one, if you're me, but this place has staff, probably maids. Probably not the sissy kind, but probably the kind that wear smart uniforms, bring trays of coffee and endure the excessive demands and pointed condescension of their superiors with a smile on their face because they're poor and they really need this job. Someone has to keep that floor clean and polished, and it's not someone that these two ladies would ever wish to keep company with...
The second contextual thing is even more subtle than the background. It's the camera angle. The viewpoint is on a level with the seated lady's head, possibly even a bit lower, while her standing friend has adopted the classic pose of a woman who is enjoying being looked up to. All sorts of things spring to mind here, all sorts of fantasies involving kneeling, foot-worship, maid service and more. At the crucial moment in most of them, one of the ladies says the words of the caption I've given to the picture, for example:
"I'm afraid this hotel only employs female waiting staff, but you've begged us so desperately... I'm sure Miss Holden can find you a waitress' uniform in your size, if what you just said is true, that you'd do anything for the job. Well, 'girl'? What do you think?"
"That's right, we did say we might let you kiss our shoes if you polished the floor during your unpaid overtime. I think it looks slightly better, but it depends if my girlfriend agrees with me. Well, Darling? What do you think?"
"There, that looks better with the muzzle on, and I'm sure the obedience will come if we take a firm hand with the training. I know it won't be the same, Darling, and I know you need time to grieve, but I really do think that this careless little peasant will make an excellent pet for you. After all, he said it himself, he'll do anything to replace Indiana, and really he has little choice in the matter if we choose to take his words literally. Well? What do you think?"
It's probably a very weird thing to do, especially with what appears on the surface to be a perfectly normal picture of two nice-looking ladies. It's something that I've gotten better and better at over the years of my habits, and probably a skill that is shared by anyone who makes captions. It makes life in the real world quite difficult, and women looking nice with nice shoes can be very distracting at times, but it means I'm never bored.
So, that's the second in my new Eye Candy series, and there's lots of stuff to think about there. In the interests of generating feedback: Well? What do you think?
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